


Out of the Points

by siriuslywinchester



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, asexual!max, post silverstone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslywinchester/pseuds/siriuslywinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the Silverstone race after Max has spun out.  Carlos tries to comfort him and Max ends up revealing a deep secret that has been hurting him more than he realises.</p><p>For <a href="http://urbiezira.tumblr.com">urbiezira</a> on tumblr, who wanted asexual!max.  Sorry if this is rubbish, I've never written an asexual character before, so I hope it's ok...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of the Points

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Urbiezira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urbiezira/gifts).



Max was sat in the Toro Rosso trailer staring at his hands and trying to force the tears of disappointment back when he heard the commentary on the TV questioning why Carlos had stopped.

He looked up at the screen which showed his team mates car draw to a halt in the gravel and the Spaniard climb out as the marshals rushed towards him.  
He knew he shouldn't feel good about his team mates misfortune but it made his own spin, which had ended his race barely four laps in, seem a little easier to swallow. Neither of them would be leaving Silverstone with points.

When Carlos opened the door of the trailer and stepped inside, Max couldn't bare to look at him. He didn't want to see the hurt of his own misfortune reflected on his team mates face and he knew if he saw how upset Carlos was, it would cause the tears to flow.

He could sense his team mate at the opposite end of the trailer - removing his helmet and placing it on the shelf, ravelling the wire for his ear piece up and tucking it inside the visor, unzipping his race suit and pulling his arms free, letting it drop down beside his hips.

Carlos dragged his feet as he walked across the trailer towards the sofas were Max was sat. The younger driver could sense his team mates eyes on him. He sat down opposite Max, a long sigh bursting through his lips as the leather of his race suit creaked against the leather upholstery.

Max stared harder at his fingers, his eyes stinging with the tears he refused to shed. His father had shown him at a young age that crying made nothing change and he didn't want Carlos to think he was weak by crying in front of him. he was struggling though - he'd had such great driver during free practises and then qualifying came and the whole weekend had fallen apart.

Cold fingers suddenly ran along the back of Max's hand, shaking him from his thoughts and causing him to flinch as they slid between Max's fingers and gripped tightly.

"Are you OK?" Carlos asked, his voice barely a whisper as he squeezed Max's hand in his own.

Max's voice caught in his throat as he tried to reply, his heart racing at Carlos' touch. He pulled his hand away from the Spaniards, holding it close to his chest as though it was something precious that he didn't want his team mate to touch. He forced himself to nod, his eyes on the floor as Carlos shifted himself over to the sofa beside him.

Max glanced at Carlos' feet, too scared to look up at his face in case the older driver saw the tears and questioned whether he was OK again. His hand still tingled from the Spaniard's touch and his heart was only just beginning to slow back to a regular rhythm. He knew that Carlos was watching him and he could sense that he was concerned but he refused to look up and speak until he knew he was in control of his feelings.

Carlos' eyes would be big, round, brown and worried. His hair would be falling on his forehead, sweaty from being tucked under the helmet, but still curling over his eyebrows in a way that Max knew the girls liked. He knew that Carlos cared more for him than he would another team mate - it wasn't brotherly love, there was more there - and sometimes that made Max feel scared and vulnerable. 

He _liked_ Carlos. He enjoyed his company and he knew the tingling in his hand wasn't just because Carlos' hands were cold.

But he knew that Carlos would want more than just a cuddle at night and that worried Max more than driving at 200kmph into a hairpin bend. He didn't _want_ more than cuddles and back rubs but he didn't know how to explain that to his team mate, so it was easier to pretend he wasn't interested. He doubted Carlos would be interested in him if he knew that he was asexual - that was normally the deal breaker.  
Carlos moved his hand slowly towards Max's face and pushed the younger drivers face up with his fingers. Max had no choice but to look at Carlos as the Spaniard asked if he was OK again.

Max forced himself to smile and hoped that it was convincing as he nodded half-heartedly. The movement caused a rogue tear to escape from the corner of his eye and he silently cursed it as it trickled down his cheek and dripped onto his knee.

Carlos shuffled closer to Max. Their legs were touching as the older driver slid his hand around Max and gently rubbed his arm up and down his team mates back.

"Max, what's wrong?" Carlos asked, his concern for the younger driver clear in his voice as his fingers slid along Max's spine and caused him to shiver.

Max shook his head in response, causing more tears to drip from his eyes. Carlos drew his fingers up Max's back to wrap his arm around the Belgian's shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

"I just wanted to do well this weekend," Max whispered through sobs as he leaned his head on Carlos' chest, knowing that it wasn't fully a lie.

The older driver was still damp with sweat but Max didn't care, resting his cheek against Carlos' shirt and listening to his heartbeat as the Spaniard's fingers resumed stroking his back.

"We're in our rookie year," Carlos said, resting his chin on the top of Max's head as his hand rubbed slowly at Max's side the way his mother used to when he was upset as a child. "We're still learning. Nobody expects us to get points every weekend. We've both got years ahead of us to win races and championships. This one little race doesn't matter. It's OK."

Max sobbed again, the tears falling freely now they'd started and Carlos had shown him sympathy.

"Please don't cry, Max," Carlos continued, "It's OK."

Carlos stopped rubbing Max's back and raised his hands to cup Max's chin and lift the younger drivers head from his chest. He leaned forward, closing his eyes as he pursed his lips and kissed Max's eyelids, trying to stop the flow of tears.

Max pulled away. Pushing Carlos' arms down and away from him whilst shuffling along the sofa so that they weren't touching.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Carlos said, aghast as he shuffled backwards and climbed to his feet, "Shit, I'm sorry... I thought... Oh God, I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry."

He stepped backwards, still watching Max who held his head in his hands as he sobbed out loud. Carlos thought he'd read the signs right - he thought Max wanted to be comforted, to be loved - but obviously he'd got it wrong. Now he just looked like an idiot and their friendship would be ruined.

"I'm so sorry Max. I'll go." he whispered, starting to walk away from the sofa towards the trailer door.

"Don't go," Max said between sobs, reaching out and catching Carlos' arm before sliding his fingers down and taking the Spaniard's hand in his own. 

The tingling started again and this time Max didn't want to let go. He liked it. He didn't want Carlos to think he hated him for what he'd done. He wanted Carlos to hold his hand and rub his back and ruffle his hair. He wanted him nearby, he just didn't want him to make things sexual.

Max rubbed his thumb along Carlos' knuckles as he guided him back to the sofa.

"I'm sorry. I got it wrong," Carlos said quietly, not daring to look at Max, "I just mis-read it. I thought... I thought you liked me, too."

Max sniffed, using his free arm to rub the tears from his eyes and wipe his nose on the sleeve of his jumper.

"I do," he started, his eyes concentrating on his thumb which was anxiously sliding up and down the back of Carlos' hand, "I do... I like you but... I just. I don't... you know."

Max shrugged, sighing loudly as he let go of Carlos hand and slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"You've never been with a guy before?" Carlos guessed, bending down to try and see Max's face properly.

"No... It's not that," Max replied, heaving another long breath as he tried to calm himself, tears beginning to flow again as he worried about what Carlos would think of him.

Carlos move his hands slowly towards Max's face again. They shook as they reached his cheeks, scared that he'd hurt Max as he wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"Max, it's OK," Carlos said, his voice calmer than he felt, "You can tell me. What are you afraid of?"

"I just. I don't. You..." Max began, pausing while he choked on sobs that were nothing to do with his feelings about the race any more. 

He drew in a long, shaking breath and looked Carlos in the eyes. The eyes that sucked you in with their deep, darkness. Eyes that made you feel like you belonged. Like they'd never judge you, even if you murdered their pet kitten right before them.

"I'm asexual," Max said, gulping down the sobs that threatened to escape again, "I don't... _need_ or even want sex or sexual... stuff. But... You... You probably will and I don't want you to miss out because of me and it's easier..."

Carlos placed a finger on Max's lips to stop him from babbling, wrapping his other arm around the younger driver and cuddling him into his chest again.

The Spaniard could feel Max's heart pounding against his chest as he leaned against him. He slowly removed the finger from Max's lips and moved his arm around the other man, enveloping him in a hug and delicately stroking his fingers through his hair, hoping that he wasn't pushing a boundary.

"It's OK," Carlos replied, lowering his chin to place a light kiss on the top of Max's head and smiling to himself as he sensed the younger driver relax and felt his pulse slow down to a normal rate, "We can just cuddle. I don't mind. I love you whatever the situation, Max. Nobody has ever made me as happy as you."

Max sniffled again, snuggling tighter into Carlos' embrace to show that he appreciated the older drivers words, despite not knowing how to reply. 

Carlos smiled, resting his chin on Max's head as he ran his arm up and down Max's back again, tickling his fingers up the Belgian's spine and trying not to giggle when he felt Max shudder.

"I like that," Max whispered, his eyes closing as he leaned his weight onto Carlos and sighed peacefully, "I like your touch and your cuddles."

Carlos shuffled backwards on the sofa, pulling his legs up and around Max so that he could lean against the backrest and wrap himself protectively around his team mate.

Max drew his legs up to his chest, curling up tightly into Carlos' torso as the older man played big spoon, wrapping one arm around Max's waist while the other stroked his hair.

Carlos began to quietly hum a tune that he remembered his Grandmother singing to him when he was ill as a toddler. It was an old Spanish song, but it was slow and happy and it had always made him feel better.

He glanced down at Max as he hummed, watching the younger driver wipe the last of the tears from his cheeks before tucking one hand up his sleeve and using it as pillow. He shuffled slightly, like a cat getting comfortable for a nap, before sliding his free hand along Carlos' arm and entwining his fingers in the Spaniards.

Carlos smiled, humming slightly louder and closing his eyes to imagine it was his Gran humming to him. Enjoying the warm feeling that Max's hand and body had against his own. He half pined to kiss Max's lips but he didn't want to ruin the moment and he wasn't entirely sure what Max's limits were. There would be plenty of time to find out what he did and didn't want to do - now wasn't that moment.

After a few minutes, when the song had come to an end, Carlos realised that Max's breathing was slow and steady, his outward breath a small sigh of happiness that flutter against the hairs of the Spaniard's arm. Max's fingers hung loosely between his team mates as he slept, peacefully tucked into Carlos with a small smile on his lips.


End file.
